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Recognize that bodies come in all different sizes and shapes. There is
no one "right" body size. Your body is not and should not be exactly like
anyone else's. Try to see your body as a facet of your uniqueness and individuality.
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Focus on the qualities in yourself that you like that are not related to
appearance. Spend time developing these capacities rather than focusing
on changing the size or shape of your body.
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Look critically at advertisements that push the "body building" message.
Our culture emphasizes the V-shaped muscular body shape as the ideal for
men. Magazines targeted at men tend to focus on articles and advertisements
promoting weight lifting, body building or muscle toning. Do you know men
who have muscular, athletic bodies but who are not happy? Are there dangers
in spending too much time focusing on your body? Consider giving up your
goal of achieving the "perfect" male body and work at accepting your body
just the way it is.
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Remember that your body size, shape, or weight has nothing to do with your
worth as a person, or your identity as a man. In other words, you are not
your body. Expand your idea of "masculinity" to include qualities such
as sensitivity, cooperation, caring, patience, having feelings, being artistic.
Some men may be muscular and athletic, but these qualities in and of themselves
do not make a person a "man."
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Find friends who are not overly concerned with weight or appearance. Be
assertive with others who comment on your body. Let others know that comments
on your physical appearance, either positive or negative, are not appreciated.
Confront others who tease men about their bodies or who attack their masculinity
by calling them names such as "sissy" or "wimp."
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Demonstrate respect for men who possess body types or who display personality
traits that do not meet the cultural standard for masculinity; e.g., men
who are slender, short, or overweight, gay men, men who dress colorfully
or who enjoy traditional "non-masculine" activities such as dancing, sewing
or cooking.
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Be aware of the negative messages you tell yourself about your appearance
or body. Respond to negative self-talk with an affirmation. For example,
if you start giving yourself a message like, "I look gross," substitute
a positive affirmation, "I accept myself the way I am," or "I'm a worthwhile
person, fat and all."
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Focus on the ways in which your body serves you and enables you to participate
fully in life. In other words, appreciate how your body functions rather
than obsessing about its appearance. For example, appreciate that
your arms enable you to hold someone you love, your thighs enable you to
run, etc.
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Aim for lifestyle mastery, rather than mastery over your body, weight,
or appearance. Lifestyle mastery has to do with developing your unique
gifts and potential, expressing yourself, developing meaningful relationships,
learning how to solve problems, establishing goals, and contributing to
life. View exercise and healthy eating as aspects of your overall approach
to a life that emphasizes self-care.
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Infromation
Provided By Eating Disorders Awareness And Prevention Inc.
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